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Time In Time Out
A common behavior
management tool used with children is "time out".
Typically used as a result of a child not behaving
appropriately in a group setting, time out literally means
time away from an activity. As with any behavior
management tool, however, why the child is acting
out should be of number one concern. Is the child trying
to avoid an activity that he or she feels inadequate in
completing? What other factors may be contributing to
the acting out? Is there a conflict with another child?
Is there a physical problem? Finding the answer should
result in less frequency of a child's time away from
productive activities.
Once the choice has been
made to use time out, an obvious question needs to be
answered. How long should the child remain in time out?
The adult usually determines how and when the child should
return to an activity. What if the time out were child
directed instead? If the goal is to help the child learn
to recognize and control inappropriate behavior why not
help him or her to do so? I would challenge any person
using this tool to rethink the approach to its use.
 When
a child begins to act out, instead of a completely
removing them and determining when they should return, try
something new. Let the child lead the process. Follow
these simple steps:
1)
Ask the child if they need a time out - this may be
enough prompting to get appropriate behavior.
2)
Send the child to time out area with concise
explanation of why he or she is being asked to leave the
activity. Let them know when she or he may return to
activity when he or she is ready. There should be
no imposed time limit. When the child is back with
the group, do not acknowledge the return; simply continue
with the activity. Self -discipline can offer its own
reward. This also avoids further embarrassment for the
child and reinforcing inappropriate behavior through
negative attention. (Negative attention means initiating
a response from an adult through acting out. The
acknowledgement of their return becomes a reward for
continuing negative behavior.)
3)
If asked to leave again, the child will need to
address the acting adult first and discuss whether or not
they are "ready" to return. Again, there is no imposed
time limit. However, when the child wants to return, find
a quiet location and discuss the behavior problem
further.
4)
As last resort only, let the child know you will
come and get them when it appears they have settled. In
this case, experts suggest one minute per year of age.
However, young children have very short attention spans.
Be cognizant of body language to decide when they might be
ready to join the group. Discuss why the behavior is
continuing and further consequences. On more than one
occasion, a busy teacher has forgotten about a child. Be
sure to have an assistant or an alarm to warn of the issue
that still needs addressing. Do whatever is possible and
do not forget them!
Try the process and see if
it works. However, keep in mind it takes time to
positively manage a child's behavior.
Other things to keep in
mind when implementing a time out session include allowing
children to remove themselves with permission. One young
boy I worked with decided that when he "felt like a
boiling pot", he would simply tell the adult and be
allowed to sit at a table for a few minutes. Otherwise,
he hit children on a regular basis. It did not take long
for the behavior to extinguish itself. He learned an
alternative to punching others. The big realization here
was that he had a choice!
 In
time out sessions, also consider the importance of a child
facing an activity and being in the same area. If the
idea is to get appropriate behavior from the child, how
will facing away from the activity help? The child
may need to view acceptable behavior and observation can
often serve as an enticement to rejoin the group.
Use total removal from an
activity as a last resort - an absolute last
resort! Like most behavior modification tools, once the
next step in the process has been taken, it usually
becomes the level to which the child will continue to
return. They have lost their inhibitions about the
potential consequences and are no longer inhibited by
unseen outcomes. Realize most children who get to this
level are used to it. It no longer serves the function as
a positive modifier. It serves to reinforce feelings of
inadequacy and loss of control to which they have become
accustomed. Then, the challenge to the adult becomes
finding a way to keep the child in the activity,
not be on the vigil for ways to remove them.
In conclusion, as in any
situation, each child will respond differently to time
out. Choose the implement of behavior management wisely.
Whatever is done, do it fairly and without malice,
continuing to allow the child choices in the management of
their own behavior. Then, and only then, will time in
time out be well spent!
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