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Out of the Mouths of Babes
Why do some adults find it cute or funny to hear a toddler
use 'bad' language? Is it because we are conditioned to
hearing these words and expect our children to say them?
Or, is such an obviously grown up word funny, coming out
of a tiny body? Children are full of sweetness and
innocence, why corrupt them with four letter doozies and
"toilet" humor. There is nothing worse than watching a
chubby cheeked child, head adorned with ringlets, coming
out with the "F" word. It ruins the whole image of what
children are about.
Maybe more to the point, we should ask why adults feel the
need to use these words. But that is another story.
However much we find these words common place or have
become blasé, through watching countless movies and now TV
shows, filled with swear words, we live in a world
demanding of respect. Unfortunately, due to common usage
we recognize and understand most swear words. However
often we hear swear words, they are still not accepted as
the 'norm'. You would never speak to your boss dropping 'clangers'
every second word. You know not to ask for a carton of
milk at the local grocery store dripping with
obscenities. And we certainly know how not to speak to a
policeman, judge or lawyer. Well most of us do. At the
very least we realize these words are not socially
acceptable. We are trying to raise children to fit
society expectations, aren't we? And that isn't to
suggest we breed a generation of clones, without a mind or
thought of their own and not allowed any expression of
creativity.
 So
often daycare is blamed for children learning these
beauties. This can sometimes be the case, but not always.
Often it comes from the child's own parents or older
siblings, who hear the words at school and pass them on.
Toddlers repeat everything we say "parrot fashion", this
is how they learn to speak. The meaning of the word is not
known, nor do they care. It sounds good, so they roll it
around in the mouth some more, experimenting with ways it
can be used. It can be extremely difficult to bring up
our children without hearing these words at some stage in
their young lives.
Along the same line is toilet humor. Whilst not as
offensive to the ears as swearing, people still find it
amusing to hear their child utter these words. Why are we
unable to use the correct word for what we want to say?
Why has a bottom become a bum? A penis is not a dick, a
doodle or a willy. Breaking wind is not a fart. When
getting undressed, being naked is not rude. Why do we
whistle and 'woo woo' our little ones running around the
house, before getting in the bath? Curtailing these will
help show your child, there is nothing rude, dirty or
funny about the human body. We all choose words we feel
comfortable in using, but it is our attitude and the way
we react to the situations, which matter most. And who
hasn't been embarrassed by our littlies coming out at a
most inopportune time and saying, "you've got gas" whilst
greeting the pastor at church or telling your bank manager
they've done a "stinky sausage".
Maybe you don't pepper your speech with swear words and
you don't find it cute or funny to hear your children
swear. Here are some concrete suggestions on how to deal
with it.
As we have previously mentioned, toddlers are great mimics
with retentive memories. Remember this the next time you
kick your toe on the side of the couch or wish to express
your views about another driver.
 Toddlers
have a fascination with toilet talk and bodily functions.
Maybe because we as parents obsess and fuss over the
disposal of their every wee and poo. Fortunately they
grow out of it. Prior to this happening, you can try
diverting your child's attention to something else like a
book, a game or an outing.
Try and explain to your children, what the various parts
of their body are for. Treat all parts equally, nobody
laughs at an elbow or a wrist.
When toddlers come out with the new or undesirable word,
remember they don't necessarily understand what they are
saying. Try some selective deafness, or a calm toned "we
don't like hearing that…" to encourage a desirable
vocabulary.
A major blow up will only lead to the word being firmly
implanted in the child's head rather than gently removing
it. If your child utters a word you would rather not
hear, don't bring on World War 3. The next time your
child is bored with nothing to do, he will remember what a
firework extravaganza occurred the last time he said
'that' word.
Do you remember the old cliché? "Do as I say, not as I
do!" In this case it will work against you. Good Luck!
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