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A Matter of Taste
It's easy to be
picky these days. Not only do we have much to choose
from, our modern lifestyles have virtually eliminated the
inconvenience of living differently than others. Even
within the same family. And while this is a boon to those
with separate schedules, it can also be a bane to children
who never get practice at putting the needs and
preferences of others ahead of their own. Which is
extremely important in the long-term scheme of things.
The ability to
postpone self-gratification – for any reason -- widens
horizons. It puts the brain in control over the body.
Which is a wonderful knack to acquire, considering that
the body is purely responsive, while the brain possesses
that marvelous power we call deductive reasoning. "If I
do this, that will happen. If I don't, then…" and so on.
Which can be a handy thing for a child when deciding to
carry out a specific action that would probably send
parents "through the roof" if they found out about it.
 Much
of deductive reasoning is a joint venture in the
parent/child relationship during the early years. Yet,
most of the foundation for a child's later abilities to
reason is based upon those early experiences. That isn't
to say the thinking process cannot be changed after the
age of five… it simply takes a greater effort to do so.
If you are a parent who allows your four-year-old to live
off macaroni and cheese without any vegetables on the side
because it's easier than putting up with the tantrums, the
confrontation you will get from her at fourteen (given the
same request) will be multiplied along with her years.
Although most parents will agree that a confrontation with
a four-year-old is much easier to deal with than one with
a teenager, it's surprising how many parents will opt to
avoid it…
Just for the
short-term benefits.
Which brings us
back to the pros and cons of being picky, again. The
truth is, everybody is picky in some way or another. It's
human nature. But the thing that sets the nature of
humans above that of animals is an amazing ability to be
able to choose what you will be picky
about. One can even change their tastes if they
feel so inclined… which opens up a whole new world when it
comes to achieving goals. The ability to use deductive
reasoning on future events is an ability only humans are
capable of. The rest of the life forms we share our
planet with, must make do with their
"response-abilities." Yet, there are no "deductive
reasoning police" roaming about to enforce whether we are
using too much or too little of it. We can live like the
animals if we so choose. Or, we can fly to the moon. The
choice is entirely up to the individual. It is also true
that within every individual – no matter how they choose
to live or behave – lies the latent ability to do great
things. Yet, most never do.
Why is that?
Because even
though we are all living every day with the
consequences of our choices, most of us do not realize
that we can change any of it. Much less how to go about
it. Oddly enough, it is not a matter of intelligence but
one of perspective. It's one of those cases where it's
"difficult to see the forest because of all the trees."
The power to change life comes from the knowledge that
different choices will bring different results.
The courage to do so comes from experience. Let's say
practice. And anything practiced from an early age
becomes part of our…
Nature.
 Behind
the laws of nature (which we seem to hem ourselves
in with) lie the forces of nature, which we know
very little about. Other than the fact that they are
powerful and more than a little intimidating. They have
even been referred to as "acts of God" because of their
propensity to override everything in their path when
headed in a certain direction. A force is a source of
power, whereas a law is merely a declaration that a power
exists. For instance, the phrase "What goes up must come
down," is one of the most common references to a law of
nature. Which is mostly true. Yet, by applying the
theories of aeronautics, man has proven that it is not
only possible to override this law, but has rendered it
common practice by making air travel a part of our modern
day lives.
The forces of
nature hold many such "overrides" to otherwise natural
hindrances, and they are freely available to anyone who
has the desire and determination to use them. The people
that do seem to accomplish so much more than others, that
society has a tendency to call them gifted. The real
secret is that they have simply spent a lot of time
practicing what they have become so good at. And in order
to do this, they have had to choose to not do
something else in order to achieve their goals.
Here are seven
natural overrides that – when practiced -- have the power
to produce "gifted" children:
¨
DETERMINATION ALWAYS OVERRIDES TALENT.
It is amazing how many famous historical figures did not
have their origins in the halls of the rich and famous.
In fact, many of them had more obstacles to overcome than
the average person. But the common thread that runs
through the lives of all of them is an uncanny
determination to do whatever they set out to. There is an
old saying that tells us, "The world steps aside for any
man who knows where he his going…" which is still true
today. So, how do we create determination? Encourage
your children to try and keep on trying. And if one thing
doesn't work, try it again a different way.
¨
LOOK FOR THE GOOD. A single day can
only contain so much, so we have to pick and
choose what we will fill it with. Good things to do,
to talk about, to think on, not only make a person
happier, they make other people happy when they are around
them. A smile always overrides a frown. A friend is
better company than a bully. And good food makes you feel
good even after the mealtime is over.
¨
ESTABLISH THE IMPORTANCE OF BEST.
The better choice is always the best choice. Encourage
your children to make good choices by making it worth
their while when they do. If Johnny isn't wild about
tomatoes, that doesn't mean he should never have to eat a
fresh salad again. The practice (continual repetition) of
eating a portion of it each time it is served will be much
easier to enforce if you balance it out with fifteen
minutes of extended play time, or dessert, or something
else he enjoys. This lesson has more benefit to it than
nutrition. Subconsciously, it teaches a child that he is
capable of trading something unpleasant now, for something
that is much more pleasant later. It stretches the
ability to endure… which is a forerunner of that
all-important trait of determination.
¨
INSTILL THE VALUE OF OTHERS.
Sharing, helping, and being careful of the feelings of
others, has a boomerang effect… it makes the giver feel
good, too. Long-term practice of such habits will promote
compassion and develop leadership skills.
¨
PLACE AN IMPORTANCE ON KNOWLEDGE.
Whoever said, "Knowledge is power," was not far wrong.
The more one knows, the more they understand, and with
understanding comes the ability to bring the pieces of
life's puzzle into a recognizable order. And no matter
where it is established, order always brings two cousins
along… peace and contentment.
¨
ENCOURAGE PRACTICE… IT MAKES PERFECT.
And it takes time. Since whatever one spends the most
time at becomes most valuable to them, parents have an
opportunity here to choose the best for their
children in the early years. Worthwhile activities in the
early years provide safeguards for the later ones. That's
because any love developed for something at an early age,
lasts.
¨
AIM HIGH. Never tell a child they
are not smart enough, beautiful enough, or rich enough to
do anything. Every child comes equipped with more than
enough ability to do great things. The only thing that
can hinder them is a lack of belief in themselves: a
condition brought on mostly by what others tell them they
cannot do.
Why should
children eat well? Because they will be stronger,
brighter, and happier if they do. Why should they be kind
to others? Because they will be stronger, brighter, and
happier if they do. Why should they learn "anything
extra" if they don't have to? Because they will be
stronger, brighter and happier if they do. Learning to
choose well can make a big difference in life, and knowing
that tastes and feelings will change according to your
choices (if you practice enough) can make anything
possible in your future. What's more, any parent who
chooses to reveal this wonderful secret to their
children, will not only be a participant in wonderful and
amazing things, they will also open doors for the "gifted"
to pass through.
 The
thing about a gift is, it is given by someone else. And
since parents tend to give more gifts than anyone else in
a child's life, it becomes vitally important to "be picky"
about just what those gifts will be. Someone who
consistently gives good gifts is admired in our societies,
and said to have developed "good taste." Although it is
still up to the individual to decide whether or not to use
their gifts… it is the nature of children to take whatever
is given to them. And as with all gifts, the choice of
what that gift will be is entirely up to the giver. We
all know there are good gifts and bad ones.
It's simply a
matter of taste.
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