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By:  Lynn Drinkall

10 Sure Fire Steps to settle your Child into Preschool 

While many parents count down the days until school resumes, others have had an anxious wait. They are either excited to get their children out of the house and learning new experiences or they are traumatized and dreading the first day 'blues'. The wailing and foot stomping and "little body wrapped around leg look". This doesn't have to be your child. You are about to be armed with a secret weapon. Read on, we have the key parents have searched for. 

Step 1 - Choose the right center for you. The type of center you choose can make a big difference. It either meets your needs or it doesn't. Decide what is important to you. Does your child enjoy painting and pasting, then ensure a high quality craft program is built into the routine. If outdoor play is important to you, then ensure the center's playground is large, safe and fully equipped. List your needs from curriculum to hygiene and do your homework. Ask friends, relatives or co-workers, to recommend a good center. Check out your Local Government Agencies. They will advise you of center listings in your area. Maybe you are lucky and your older child attended a center. You will already be aware of the service it provides. The bonus is your child will be familiar with the center and possibly the staff. A definite plus. 

Step 2 - Communication is the key. Talk to your child about preschool at every opportunity. Talk about the fun activities they will participate in: painting, singing riding bikes, or playing in the sandbox. Hone in on your child's favorite activities. Speak of the friends to be made. Will any of your child's friends or cousins be attending? Find out the center's routine, so that your child is able to anticipate the daily happenings. By routine, I mean blocks of time when activities are scheduled such as play time followed by lunchtime followed by story time. Answer your child's questions or ask questions about how they feel and what they are looking forward to doing. Above all be honest and remain positive. 

Step 3 - Visit the center. Go for lots of walks past the center. Drive past on the way to the shops. Familiarize your child with the setting as often as possible. Ask the Teachers if you can pop in for 10 -15 minutes during outdoor play. Initially, an outdoor environment can appear less daunting than hemmed in by four walls indoors. Most children prefer being outside and the advantage is you are with them during the visit. Many centers have organized visits prior to commencement; so check out this option. The more often your child visits the center the less new it will become. 

Step 4 - Get to know the Teachers. You will have this opportunity when enrolling at the center, or during one of your visits. Encourage your child to spend time and talk with the Teachers. Getting to know the Teacher's names enables you to speak of them at home. The Teachers will have the opportunity to get to know your child and to develop a relationship with them. A conversation on bended knee is preferable to a new face looming from above. Hopefully you have chosen your center well, and the staff and Teachers are warm and caring. This all adds up to your child feeling comfortable and relaxed in the setting. 

Step 5 - The first day outfit. This is very important, and helps to make the day special. A set of clothes hanging in the closet can draw much anticipation. Don't panic and think you have to rush off to buy a designer outfit. Remember the clothes will suffer a lot of paint splatters and wear and tear. You can use clothes you have at home, spruce them up with a new hair ribbon or pair of socks. Ensure the clothing chosen is practical and comfortable. Your child will be climbing and running (beware of new shoes) and will also be toileting themselves (no braces, belts or overalls). But be warned, all this is wasted if you cave in and let them wear it before the first day. Stand firm and keep it 'special'.

Step 6 - What to take. Find out your center's requirements and gather or buy everything you will need, well in advance. You may need to supply an apron or pack your child's own lunch. Involve your child in the process. Let them choose lunchboxes or drink bottles from the latest craze like Bob the Builder or even their favorite color. If you do need to supply lunch, your child can assist in the preparation of a yummy nutritious meal. Make sure you pack warm clothes or snow gear for colder climates and hats and clothes suitable for warmer climates. Your child may miss out on activities if they are not appropriately dressed. The idea is to let your child be part of the choosing and preparation process. Don't forget a bag to carry the treasured items, and don't be alarmed if the bag becomes permanently attached to your child's body. If they are excited it is another plus! 

Step 7 - On the Day. The key is to be positive, positive, positive. Try not to create too much hype, as this can work in the reverse and create a highly-strung, tightly coiled time bomb just waiting to be detonated. You guessed it, when you leave, it will be like pulling the trigger. During any previous discussions, and today more so than ever, reinforce to your child, you will not be staying. Talk about the picking up routine planned. Mommy or Daddy will pick you up after story time or snack time. It is helpful to talk of activities planned after you pick up your child. For example, big brother's baseball practice, or buying groceries. These mundane activities help to create a sense of normalcy or regularity. The events of the day are continuing as usual and they won't be missing out on anything. You could try leaving something of yours for your child to keep with them until you return, such as a hanky smelling of your perfume, or a small family photo. 

Step 8 - On arrival. You have made it to the center. Don't go off to play, even though this is a good sign. Greet your Teachers so they know you have arrived. They will show your child where to put their bag and belongings and remind them where the toilet is. They will introduce your child to some new friends and involve them in an activity. 

Step 9 - Set a time limit. Once your child is involved in an activity, tell them you will wait another 5-10 minutes. Ask your Teacher for their advice on the length of time you should stay, the shorter the better. Play with your child if they want to (try to ease yourself away if you can). If they take off with the other kids to play, stay for the allotted period of time and watch. Believe me, they will be checking to see if you are still there. Take this opportunity to meet some of the other new parents. 

Step 10 - Saying Goodbye. This is it, the big step. Plaster your face with smiles even if your heart is breaking. Make sure you say goodbye, I can't stress this enough. Do not be tempted to leave if your child is happy and occupied. Sneaking away can create a sense of mistrust. If your child finds you have vanished they will become upset and look for you. They certainly won't trust you the next time. If your child is clingy, remind them at intervals that you will soon be leaving. Stick to your agreed time. Signal the Teacher your intention to leave and remind your child of the picking up details established. Give your goodbye kisses and cuddles and go. This sounds harsh, but it is the best method. Your child will quickly come to know what to expect on preschool day. 

If you say you will stay for 5 minutes, your child will stretch this to10, and so on. Very soon you will have played and philosophized for 30 minutes. Your child can't tell the time, but they can tell that you stayed when you said you were going. Delaying the inevitable makes it difficult for the Teacher to begin the daily routine with Moms and Dads, and clinging bodies milling around. It is unfair to the other children who have settled well and are waiting for their first day to begin. Bored children quickly find something to fill their time, be it crying along with everyone else or creating their own dubious activities. Teachers can only do so much. Unfortunately there isn't one Teacher to every child, so don't expect 20 minutes spent trying to coax your little Johnny to come and play. 

This is not to say Teachers are Sergeant Majors where you stand at the door and push your child through the gap. Teachers are trained, and/or experienced and do this every year, even though it may be new to you. Over the years they have learned every trick in the book to settle your child, and can do this umpteen times a day, if necessary. Most centers encourage you to phone and check on your child. 

Now you have satisfied yourself that your child is indeed still alive, and playing happily, ENJOY! Forget the washing and go out shopping. Meet a friend for lunch or just put your feet up with a good book and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Whatever you do make sure you pick your child up at the agreed time. And if you think the day went well, don't discard this piece of advice. File it, because you just may need it next week or the week after, when the novelty of preschool has worn off. We can't promise miracles, but by following our top ten steps, you may come close.

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