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Back
to School Blues
There
are many children who do not look forward to going back to
school in September.
All for various reasons.
For some, being excited about school is simply not
the "cool" way to be.
For others, it means a necessary return to the work
and routine of real life.
Summers offer a door into that "anything could
happen" realm, and at the very least, a welcome
respite from the necessary world that a school year
represents. But
for some kids, going back to school takes a tremendous act
of courage on the part of the student…
and sometimes the parents, as well.
Though
only a small percentage of today's schools fall into the
category of being the next volatile hotbed for mass
destruction, an alarming number of them do not live up to
the standard of being a "safe haven" for
children. The
times are to blame, mostly.
Because we are living in an age when the freedom of
the individual has taken precedence over the freedom of
the group. Mixed
with a general lack of discipline by teachers and
administrators, what was once a place of "higher
learning" has turned into a learning ground for a
different kind of education altogether.
Very little of which is actually filtered through
academic sources.
True, the majority of children who graduate from
today's programs will come away with the basic knowledge
of reading, writing and arithmetic… hopefully.
 But
have you ever noticed how many of our teen and young adult
citizens who have jobs as cashiers, have trouble making
change when the register doesn't tell
them exactly how? Say,
for instance giving them a ten dollar bill and a quarter
when the total was five sixteen, simply because you didn't
want eighty-four cents jingling around in your pocket for
the rest of the day.
It can be a shocking experience.
Especially when you realize that you could be
having this transaction with the future president of a
bank.
So,
does this mean kids are getting dumber and dumber?
Absolutely
not. Then
could it be due to overcrowding… or the lack of
nutrition in overly processed foods?
Not enough to have any significant impact on this
particular problem, even though more than a few industries
and organizations would like you to think so.
There are three things lacking in today's school
environment (including private schools) that are necessary
to success in education.
They are: discipline, academic
content, and enthusiasm.
The most important of which is enthusiasm.
But it is impossible to have sufficient enthusiasm
in the midst of chaos, or without anything to specifically
be enthusiastic about.
There
are an amazing number of educators in our modern system
that single-handedly forge these things out in their own
individual classrooms, and – if the truth be known –
they are probably the ones responsible for holding the
entire out-dated and inefficient system together for so
long. They
are the teachers parents "pass the word" about
to others in the community – the ones your child has to
have at least two or three of
in their entire twelve years of school in order to not
only survive the system, but to come out with something of
value when they are through.
An amazing percentage of what these individuals
teach can not only be remembered -- but quoted -- many
years later. Usually
along with an appreciative mention of a specific teacher's
name in the process.
Children never forget what is truly important…
because they're so impressionable.
That's
human nature.
 The
majority of today's kids will survive these statistics,
and go on to further their own education and live fairly
productive lives throughout adulthood.
But for those who find themselves on the fringes…
school can be traumatic in many ways.
To be a "fringe-dweller" does not
necessarily mean one has a learning disorder – because
most of them don't. Instead,
they are the ones who tend to have too much of something.
Too much shyness, too much boastfulness, too much
brains or too much ignorance, or even too much beauty or
homeliness. Too
mean, or too kind. Too
much of anything puts a child outside that illusive circle
of acceptance we call "normal."
And if one has ever been disdainful of society's
class systems, let it be mentioned here that children can
be more ruthless than adults when it comes to classifying.
Nowadays
it is the peers who seem to hold the biggest sway in
schools. And
even if your child is a model individual at home, you
would be surprised how easily they can – and do – slip
into the attitudes and behaviors of whatever is acceptable
at school. Their
use of language even changes.
Which is a good thing for the most part, because
without this amazing adaptability, they would tend to be
crushed under the pressures that circulate there.
But that doesn't solve the long-term problems of
attaining a better education.
Problems which are beginning to find their way into
national concerns as well as individual homes.
Everyone knows there are problems.
But as a parent, what specifically can you do about
them?
Here
are a few things that will help:
·
BE ENTHUSIASTIC.
First and foremost.
Sure, there are problems at school, but it does not
help to constantly berate those things if you can't do
anything about them.
Enthusiasm can actually override a multitude of
problems. If
you can't find anything to be excited about, then at least
give your child a chance to have a positive experience by
making a pact with yourself not to say anything negative
about it. Maybe
even try saying, "Oh, boy, school!" every once
in awhile, even if the only wonderful thing you can relate
to is the smell of a newly-sharpened pencil.
·
BE ATTENTIVE.
Children are constantly giving out signals.
Make it a point to notice whether your child has
had a good day or a bad one, and find out why.
Many things that happen in school are beyond verbal
communication for children.
Perhaps they were embarrassed about not knowing an
answer when called on, felt uncomfortable for a long time
afterward but didn't know why.
They might even start worrying about being called
on, again. Most
children have had this experience at one time or another,
and most will not even mention it when they get home.
But those who have suffered traumatic proportions
over it will only get "back on track" when
outside adjustments are made by parents or teachers.
Things like extra help with homework, or positive
reinforcement for better listening will help them overcome
the experience rather than allowing them to assume they
are simply not as smart as everyone else.
·
MAKE CORRECTIONS.
Never let an incident or inappropriate attitude by
without pointing out the right way to your children.
Then go one step further and help them make things
right. The
world can look pretty confusing from a child's
perspective, and – contrary to popular opinion –
children are not born with an automatic propensity for
wisdom. Teach
them early how to fix their mistakes, and you will also be
lightening their burdens in the future.
·
BE CAREFUL WITH FEELINGS.
If your child tells you, "I hate school!"
try to avoid answers like, "You can't hate school.
You have to go to school, so, that's that."
To tell them they can't feel a certain thing after
they already do, makes them think something must be wrong
with them personally.
You can get the same point across by saying
instead, "I'm sorry you feel that way.
We really don't have any choice about going to
school… but maybe we could think of some ways to make it
better for you."
Then think of some.
·
DON'T PROJECT YOUR OWN ACADEMIC WEAKNESS
ONTO YOUR CHILDREN.
If your child comes to you with a homework problem,
don't give them a response of, "I never could get it
right when I was your age, either.
Must run in the family."
Remember, children believe what you tell them.
And if you tell them it runs in the family, it will
just add to the original problem.
Even if it's true, and the subject still baffles
you, send them to the other parent (or friend, or family
member) with the suggestion, "Why don't you ask, your
dad? He's great at that subject." Then they won't have to worry about what might be
"running in their family" before it ever really
shows up. And maybe it never will.
Children have a tendency to take on the strengths
of both their parents more than the weaknesses.
That's human nature.
·
FIND OUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
Not only according to the teacher and the school,
but to your children, as well.
Do they need another parent on a field trip, and
your child has impulsively "volunteered" you
when you absolutely hate that sort of thing?
Try to do at least one of those things every year,
anyway. Not
so much for the teacher (even though any extra adult on a
field trip is appreciated) but for what it means to your
child. Do they want to participate in an extracurricular activity
and all you can see is one more commitment during an
already hectic week, not to mention the money?
Sit down together and look over all the "pros
and cons" before you make a hasty decision.
·
BE PROTECTIVE.
Are you uncomfortable letting your first grader
ride the bus, or your teenage daughter walk home alone
from school? Don't
deny the basic instincts of parenthood.
Take them yourself, or make arrangements for them
to go with others as opposed to trying to believe that
such experiences will "make them more
independent." Webster's
dictionary defines independence with the words: "to
have no allegiance with or dependence on anything or
anybody." The
only people who benefit from that situation are hardened
criminals. The
fact that most of the world's population lives in cities,
interacting every day with others, proves that we humans
don't really want to be that way, either.
So, go with your instincts.
 School
is a necessary part of growing up, and a necessary part of
becoming a productive citizen in today's world.
But like everything else in Life, there are good
things and bad things about it.
And like everything else in life, it's pretty much
up to the individual whether it ends up being a good
experience or a bad one.
The attitudes, encouragement, and enthusiasm of a
parent can make all the difference in helping a child
choose which one of those it will be.
A wise parent can actually help their children
choose the best. And
when a child chooses to make the best of school…
Then
it doesn't leave much room for the "back-to-school
blues."
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