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Separation
Anxiety
Starting school can be an exciting and exhilarating experience for a young child.
However, it can also be a very stressful one.
However eager he or she may seem for the new experience, there will come a time when the child turns to find your familiar face no longer present.
Apprehension may set in and the child may find it difficult to settle in for the day.
Most children eventually adjust to the new surroundings.
Nevertheless, it is important to provide opportunities for the child to be introduced to the new environment to make this separation as easy as possible.
How do we do that?
Introduction . Introduce the child to the facility in advance of the first day.
Three or four visits are suggested to orient the child to the surroundings.
Observe what activities are appealing to the child.
These might be possible points of interests to use later as an enticement for participation.
 Let go slowly.
Children who seem overly apprehensive may need a parent to attend a session with them the first day.
Withdraw slowly.
Keep busy with other activities and try to observe gradually from a distance.
Say goodbye.
Never leave a young child without saying goodbye.
This can be unnerving and confusing to the child.
Say goodbye and leave without looking back.
Crying usually does not last for long.
Eventually, the child will settle into the routine and be able to join an activity rather quickly.
Whatever the goodbye ritual developed, stick to it until the child chooses to change.
Children, like adults, enjoy and appreciate a routine, especially when experiencing something rather new.
Expect an adjustment period .
This is normal for young children.
Some will take to the childcare experience from day one.
Others may regress later for whatever reasons, but know adjustment is a common experience for both children and parents. In fact, it may even be harder on you to let go on the first day.
Allow another adult to bring the child to the program .
If the separation is too difficult for either the parents and/or the child, it may be wise to enlist the assistance of another adult.
At least temporarily, allow the child to be taken to the program by another adult you trust.
As awkward or uncomfortable as this may seem, he or she may adjust more quickly because of having left the parent(s) earlier.
Allow for extra support.
These first days are hard on both parent and child.
Do spend extra time together and nurture each other.
Children will be in need of added attention and TLC, as will you.
Talk about your feelings with others.
Parent/child separation is not easy for anyone to endure.
Realize fear is a normal part of the process .
For both child and adult, this time can be extremely stressful.
Children might cry or throw tantrums on the way to the program not because of a poor program, but rather as a result of the rising separation anxiety.
You are not being cruel by taking the child to the program.
Realize this is a normal part of the process and accept things may not go smoothly for the first few days or weeks.
 Consult the childcare professionals.
They are often the best judges of how the adjustment might be going.
What suggestions do they have to offer?
Are things progressing normally or is additional time necessary to assist the child in the transition.
Typically, new parents are the most challenged in dealing with these first days, only to find out that things really are progressing normally.
Overall, recognize that the process of dealing with separation for both child and parent may not be an easy one.
If a parent and child have a special relationship, perhaps it should be just the opposite - difficult when separating.
Letting go of someone we love, even if for a very short time, can indeed be hard.
It will take patience and understanding, at least until we both get used to it.
One day, soon enough, your child will be independent enough to get out of the car on their own and march inside the building or residence.
On that day, we will have fleeting moments of these days when it was not so very easy.
Then, we will experience separation anxiety of a different kind and perhaps even long for that very first day all over again.
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