|
|
 Our House
Did you know that a dishwasher is far more reliable, and less trouble than a child? It doesn't make dirty dishes, and willingly washes them without these words,
"I did the dishes last time." Sure, it doesn't always work properly, but most of the trouble with a dishwasher goes right back to the kid who didn't want to do the dishes in the first place. All older models of the wonderful
dishwasher have a thing called a "pea-trap" and require you to rinse the dishes before placing them on the racks inside the washer. My kids do scrape the dishes before placing them in the sink; well, most of my kids do scrape
first. The real problem is our youngest daughter, and one of our adopted male children. An explanation is required here, because we never really went to court, and have no papers on the kid. We're just the house that he comes to when he
needs solace, or a place to hang, as the kids are prone to say.
I love this kid, but someday I'm going to pick up the plate from the
sink or counter, and pour the contents of uneaten food into his lap. If he takes
the plate to the sink or counter, he doesn't seem to notice that we do not
have a disposal in the sink, and he cannot find the trash can. Repeated
attempts, on our part, to get him to scrape the plate have gone unheeded.
Wendy, on the other hand, thinks that Mom has to clean up all messes in her
life.
 Wendy will open a candy bar and throw the wrapper on the floor. She gets
out food items from the refrigerator, and leaves them on the table, or the
counter. She complains when I throw away a half bottle of Dr.Pepper, because
it was left sitting on the living room floor overnight. My answer, "Well, it
should have been put up." I'm coming to the place in life that I feel tough
love is appropriate, since Wendy is 20-years old. She is a smart kid, and a
good person, but a terrible slob with her things. I'm not the world's best
housewife, and I'm not going to win any awards for the cleanest house, but I
do clean up, and it makes me angry to repeatedly clean the same area more
than once a day.
At last count, we had 7-unofficially adopted kids, most of whom are in
our house one or more days a week. Most, are very nice, neat, and sweet kids,
who pick up after themselves. No, they're not angels but they're pretty good
kids. We rarely have any trouble among them, as they get along pretty well.
They don't fight, not the vicious stuff at any rate, but they do pick at one
another in fun. Occasionally, I will have to stop them from throwing my
grandson's stuffed football, or clean up a spill from a small tickle fight,
but they're really a lot of fun.
Our house is the place that kids come to "Chill." That's what they call
it, and we love having them here. Ever so often, one kid -- a new one --
that we don't know will show up, and it is usually one that causes
trouble. If they don't cause trouble, steal, or disregard our rules, they're
welcome to visit again. We don't adopt every kid that comes through the
front door, but the ones that we do enjoy have good parents. You can listen
to a child speak of their parents and know what type of raising they've received.
Jamey, or quiet adopted child, is my favorite male, and Kristina, our honest
adopted child, is my favorite female.
Jamey is the most lovable kid you could hope to meet. He is always so
courteous to everyone. Kristina is a kick. She is funny beyond belief. She
is lovable, honest, and almost an open book about her life. John, Danielle,
Jamie, David, and Dillon are all special children in their own way. These
are teenagers, or post teenagers, that come here to talk, hang out, "chill," and
enjoy one another's company. They behave well and we love them all; however,
a house should always be home to those who inhabit it. If one of them gets
into a spat with a parent, they're welcome to stay the night, so that all
parties involved have a chance to think it over, but they can't stay a life
time and their parents wouldn't want them too.
 The idea that good parents don't fuss and fight with their kids, is all
wrong. All families, and particularly, well-raised children, think for
themselves. Freedom of thought will always lead to disagreement, but we want
our children to be able to know right and wrong, and to be able to make
independent decisions. And kids, have many a moment when being able to think
for themselves is imperative. I watch these kids and know that the future is
safe, and am certain that they aren't the lost-cause that many people have
labeled their generation. In fact, I see parallels between them and my own
generation: they want to have fun, they need to have space, they have
opinions, and with all teenagers, they are adventurous. The good parent knows
when to say "no," and they know when it will be alright, adding a "yes."
After all, didn't our parents say that we would turn to no-good use?
I know that someday, my Wendy will be standing at the kitchen sink,
asking why one of her children did not scrape their plate? It follows that a
messy child, will have a messy child, and it follows that a good parent will
give their children an idea of how to raise a child. We can't always control
what happens to our kids, but we can be there when things go wrong, if we're
lucky. Love, devotion, selflessness, and patience are the makings of a fair
mother, and sternness in a father is something that is needed to help the
children grow to be happy adults. Knowing when to be there, and knowing when
to back off and let them fall, is the most important trait of all. A child
that never falls, never learns how to pick themselves up and go on in life. If
you want something that never argues, always does it's job, and gives no
reason for heartache, buy a dishwasher, don't have a child.
| © Copyright 2000/2001/2002. All rights reserved.
|
 |
|
|
