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 Foster Parenting: Loving Another's Child
The front door swings open; they have arrived. It's 10:00 PM and standing
in the doorway are two women, one of which is holding an 18-month-old baby
boy. The baby is clinging tightly to the woman, his knuckles white from the
grip. They enter the living room and are asked to please have a seat. The
baby stares around the room trying frantically to find a familiar face while
the women explain his situation. The child's eager search fails. He has
just arrived at his new home, the place he'll live for the next entire year
of his young life.
One of the most simple pleasures in life is to express love for someone or
something. Some of us love our spouses, our children, our parents, or our
dog. Others love their best friends, or their goldfish. There is no other
emotion as universally recognized and expressed than that of pure love.
 Foster parents choose to love children. Other people's children. Perhaps
only two or maybe as many as fifty-two of them. Each one of them very
different from the last. They may have different backgrounds, different
circumstances, different personalities, but they all have two definite
things in common: they need a loving home, and they most certainly deserve
one.
From a foster parent's point of view, there is no better way to make use of
his or her time and energy than to care for a child in need. Loving and
taking good care of these children sustains them. Teaching them and
watching them grow creates a strong sense of accomplishment and purpose
for them.
Some foster children come with heavy baggage; some do not. Usually it's the
older children who are more likely to remember the neglect, abuse and/or
abandonment which they have endured. They may be uncommunicative and
distant after being badly abused. They've simply learned to disconnect.
Perhaps they are uncontrollable and hostile, due to pent up anger and
resentment that has been building for years. They may be loud and
disruptive, trying to be heard, to be listened to, because prior to coming
into care, they never were listened to, or heard.
 We read that behind every behavior is an emotion. When a child's emotions
are negative, so follows the behavior. However, not all children who are
brought into care display contemptuous behavior. Some may be too young to
remember any bad treatment or undesirable happenings. Others manage to let
go of those feelings related to any past events. Still others have the
amazing ability to forgive, which ultimately helps them to move forward with
their lives.
Foster parents care for their children in a physical sense, but they also
help them spiritually and emotionally. They aim not only to give emotional
support to the children in their care, but they also provide support for the
natural parents in their endeavors, as they strive to complete the
requirements laid down by the agency with which the children are placed. In
a sense, they almost become "parents" to the entire family.
With no time for volunteering outside the home, foster parents tend to view
their work as a continual, loving contribution to society. Like visiting
seniors in a nursing home, or helping to feed the homeless, foster parenting
has its place on the list of societal necessities, and should be regarded as
such.
 "When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die," Eleanor Roosevelt
once said. Foster parents have this strong desire to contribute, to make a
real difference. Their volunteerism supersedes that of many other causes, in
the fact that their task is never truly completed, which can also be said
for parents in general. From the moment you awaken, to the second you fall
asleep, on every day and night of the week, you are still "on the job." You
may even be up during the night as well, especially if you have little ones.
Those who open their hearts and homes to welcome these children are filled
with a firm dedication unlike any other. They are determined to make a
difference in the lives of their foster children, and they are applauded for
the tremendous effort they expend doing so. Through their ongoing
commitment and valued perseverance, foster parents light the way through the
darkness for so many. Their gifts of comfort and persistent devotion help
to provide a haven of warmth and love to those children without such a
place.
To all of you who are, or previously were foster parents, thank you. Your
everlasting patience and enduring commitment are greatly appreciated and
much admired.
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