Potty Training 101

In the past, I have always taken the view that my children will not start kindergarten in diapers, and so have never placed a big emphasis on this particular rite of passage - until now. My third child is my first one to figure out how to take his diaper off, and all of the creative ways you can use its contents! This has prompted me to get up off of my proverbial high horse, and take some serious action. Having never proactively potty trained, I have a lot of learning to do, and thought that I would pass along the latest and greatest information that I found useful. First, are you and your child ready?

 According to Dr. Brazelton, some signs of readiness include:

1.  Imitating behaviors - wanting to be like everyone else
2.  Has started putting things where they belong - creating order
3.  Demonstrates independence - wants control (i.e. says no)
4.  Likes to follow you into the bathroom
5.  Regular bowel movements
6.  Understands what wet and dry mean, and has words to communicate urine and bowel movements

Once you have determined whether or not your child is ready (much to my dismay, mine is not), it is time to decide how to go about training, itself. Most experts generally follow the same guidelines: First, buy your child a little potty. Big ones can intimidate the littlest guys, and cause difficulty in focusing on the task at hand because they have to worry about falling in or off. Then begin to incorporate the potty into your day. If you know when your child's bowel movement takes place, that is the ideal time to sit your child, fully clothed on the potty chair. This helps children accept it as a normal part of their day, but remember to never force a child to stay on the chair, and never push them if they are frightened.

Next, try sitting on the chair without the diaper on, and explain that using the potty is what mommy, daddy, and siblings do. Also, a good idea is if he has a bowel movement in a diaper, let your child watch you dump it into the toilet so that he sees that the potty is where it belongs. Then let go, and let your child use the potty as he wants to - you may want to occasionally remind him that it is there.

Move to training pants, and clothes that go up and down easily. Some parents suggest using cloth trainers because children can better tell when they are wet or soiled. Make certain to handle accidents with care. Clean up, and quietly suggest using the potty next time. Night training is still down the road, so don't even worry about it at this stage.

Some parents like using a reward system such as M&M's or a sticker chart. These usually work best later in the process for extra motivation. At the beginning of training, most children do not have the skills to perform for a reward. And, promises such as "I will buy you this toy if you promise to use the potty" rarely work out, so steer clear of using this technique. Patience is probably the most important ingredient in successful potty training. And, while I hate to revert back to my old ways when I am cleaning poop off of my walls - deep down I know that he will not start kindergarten in diapers, so at least there is an end in sight!