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Rules That Work
The old adage that "rules were made to be broken" should be on a parent or educator's mind when designing home or classroom rules.
Why make rules with the premise that they will be broken?
Instead, design open-ended rules that may apply in a variety of circumstances.
Involve the children and make age-appropriate consequences.
The following are samples used by professionals with whom the author has crossed paths.
They are easily adaptable to any situation and allow for flexibility in their interpretation to cover a number of behavior issues when they might arise.
Rule #1: Respect others.
This is one of the most difficult concepts for a young child to grasp.
Young children are often egocentric and have a difficult understanding that others may have wants, too.
 Sharing.
Children can recognize limits even before they are capable of recognizing numbers. A simple "red light, green light" system works well in many environments.
Necklaces can also limit usage of an item.
If there are no more necklaces available, another activity or item is the choice.
Space. Traffic and work often do not mix, just look at our highway systems.
Route traffic around play and work areas to avoid ruining a child's creative moment or work.
Avoid cluttering an environment so children can spread out and enjoy their work area.
Children forced into small spaces with little material will wind up unhappy and fighting.
Allow rugs or place mats to serve as boundary markers for workspace.
Nameplates should be available and set on works in progress.
Materials.
Provide adequate materials and supplies in a designated workspace for children to avoid conflict. Provide adequate amounts of materials for children and place it at their level.
When children are forced to share inadequate amounts of material, it fosters hostility.
Young children have little patience for tolerance and can easily become disgruntled and behave negatively.
When interested in an activity, are materials easily accessible for the child?
Are aprons hung and ready near the art area for usage when a child wants to paint?
Shelved materials should be near the created activity area.
Does it make sense for a four-year-old to have to walk across the room to refill a paint palate?
Rule #2: Respect the environment.
This rule can include both the indoor and outdoor environments.
This covers toys, furniture, cars, vans, busses, bicycles, swing sets, plants, animals, or anything that surrounds us in our everyday lives.
Clean up
.
Endings, in many instances, are just as importance as beginnings.
Tasks created as chores in the beginning, end up being just that
- chores.
Make clean up activities a habitual part of any routine. Keep in mind that whatever you do to encourage a child's independence in cleaning up after him or herself, make it fun.
 Are appropriate cleaning supplies ready and available?
Be sure mops, buckets, brooms, and sponges are child size so they can be used!
Keep in mind, as well, that the environment may appear a bit disorderly or messy based on the age of the child.
Do not take away the joy that comes from completing a job.
Doing so may result in a child's feeling inadequate or question why they need to do something that you will be doing later instead.
Organizing .
If a child can not read or recognize words yet, laminate pictures of toys or supplies and simply place them where the original belongs.
Velcro works well on shelves, but can leave a residue when removed.
Silly putty can work well, when applied to the back of the laminated picture, but again, check the surface.
Will the glue or tacking product leave a residue and cause damage?
Pictures will allow the young child independence and success in the clean-up process.
It also is a beginning step toward recognizing letters and symbols.
Living things . To take care of plants or animals, use pictures of the bowls or water with numbers as reminders.
Calendars are also a good tool and reinforce numbers, days, and months.
Mark the days of the week on which plants are watered.
Use laminated pictures with numbers to list the numbers of times an animal should be receiving food or water.
Rule #3: Respect yourself.
Perhaps this, of all the rules put in place, is the one most overlooked.
Parents and educators are often concerned with watching out for others and forget the importance of teaching a child to respect him or herself.
How do children learn to respect themselves?
 Good hygiene
.
Brushing one's teeth or washing hands are important daily activities to take care of one's health.
Eating properly or bathing regularly also are positive ways in which children learn respect of self.
Safety.
Wearing a bicycle helmet, watching for cars, and using toys safely are ways in which respect for self is important.
Not talking to strangers or avoiding conflict are other ways children can be safety conscious.
Of course, closely tied to this rule is respect for others.
Language.
Most people do not enjoy being around individuals using profanity or inappropriate language.
Name-calling and using profanity are ways of showing disrespect of others, as well as disrespect for self.
By using inappropriate language, it encourages negative behaviors from others and encourages a negative attitude on the part of the individual.
In closing, remember children are most greatly influenced by their parents.
Rules of the home or school environment should be made to influence positive behaviors so children develop self-discipline.
If we model respect of others, respect for the environment, and respect for ourselves, our children will, too!
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