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Owning Your Own Home-Life
Whoever coined the phrase “time is money” wasn’t far wrong.
In fact, we have a tendency to spend time in much the same way we spend money.
Those who aren’t careful where their time goes, find that it gets “spent” anyway.
Often on things they wish they hadn’t wasted any time on, at all.
The thing about time is, while you can give it away – by doing for someone else, in order that they may be free to do something else – you can’t save it up.
Nor can you will any of it to your heirs after you’re gone… unless you do so by the giving method, which is to provide for them in some way, so that they might better utilize their own time.
Time has no grandchildren.
 Each of our lives is an amount of allotted
time, broken down in a series of increments that – for the most part – we have very little say in.
We get twenty-four hours per day, no more and no less.
We get it for the duration of approximately seventy years.
A relatively small percentage of us get a few years more, though rarely past a hundred, and an equally small percentage die young, which could happen at any age.
Nobody knows.
Down through the years, medical science has done extensive studies that have tried to unlock the reasons for these statistics, but they’ve made little headway. And about the time they decide that good food and exercise extend
longevity, they discover some remote village in France where everyone lives to be centurions on a diet rife with cigarettes, chocolate, and wine at every meal. On the whole, however, the general populace has decided not to deal with the
subject.
Which brings up another familiar saying that goes, “don’t waste your time on things you can do nothing about.”
Which could be true… depending on how you look at it. There’s a good chance this very same saying was spoken repeatedly in the ears of those who invented the early airplanes, and there aren’t many of us today who are not
grateful that they didn’t listen.
Then again, the invention of the gasoline engine seems to have done more toward using up our natural resources than all the wars and wildlife exploitation in history, for without it we wouldn’t have come nearly so far in those
subjects.
Everything comes down to a matter of choice.
Everything.
And amazingly, choices do make a difference.
We might only get twenty-four hours in a day, but – unless you are underage or somebody’s slave – what you do with them is pretty much up to you.
Which wouldn’t be a bad arrangement if it weren’t for something called consequences, that are also doled out equally to everybody… depending on how you spend your time.
No exceptions.
No matter where you were born, or who your parents are.
Besides that, there are “time robbers.”
It doesn’t seem quite fair that one should be able to steal time when we all have the same amount already, and can not hoard it.
Fairness (though equally important, and a very hot topic in some circles), is a different subject altogether, and will not be discussed here.
That’s because fairness tends to be crowded with opinions that muddy up the waters of good discussion, making it seem vague and unimportant. Unless you have come face to face with a bit of unfairness, yourself, and then you know
exactly what it is.
The fact is, that time robbers are not fair, and it’s the facts that we are looking at, here.
 There are many things that can rob you of your time; from
deceptive advertising to an insensitive co-worker that manages repeatedly to detain you after you’ve mentioned numerous times that your daycare center enforces penalties for parents who pick their children up late.
And your own children can also be “time robbers” on occasion, especially if they have learned that the distractions they cause you work out to their advantage.
But these are extreme cases.
For the most part, time robbers are subtle influences that make you forget what is important, and that you are steadily spending your allotted time whether
you are wasting it, or not.
You forget the how the old sayings go, and pretty soon, you are living by the philosophy, “never do today, what you can put off until tomorrow.”
You do it out of shear survival… especially when it comes to paying bills or taking care of family emergencies.
Your priorities become whatever situation is in front of you that most desperately needs attention.
It is sad to note that one of the things most quickly set aside in these situations, yet has the most impact on you personally, is your home-life.
Everyone – including children – needs a place to rest and rejuvenate, apart from the more intense interactions of daily living.
It’s human nature.
It isn’t always evident because some of us have more endurance than others, but that, too, is another subject.
The fact remains that people who get proper amounts of rest and rejuvenation (which reach optimum levels when linked with peace and order), are statistically more successful than those who don’t.
And for the record, the definition of peace and order we are referring to, here, is not interchangeable with eight to nine hours of sleep each night, and a live-in maid.
Not all of us need – or even want – those things.
We are all wonderfully different in that respect, and “one man’s ceiling is another man’s floor,” as the saying goes.
One might find rest and rejuvenation on a quiet mountainside that would spell nothing less than horror for someone else who was afraid of heights.
One might need a quiet evening alone, while another prefers the company of good friends to relax with.
Personalities differ, but the basic need stays the same.
And even though we meet these needs in different ways, the same “time robbers” have a tendency to threaten all.
So, here are some ways to protect time for your own piece of paradise:
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DECIDE BEFOREHAND what you will and will not waste your time on.
It isn’t always possible to make a snap decision, but if you’ve decided against something beforehand, it is easier to recognize the intrusion when it comes… and say, no. Simply because you’ve already decided.
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MAKE ROOM FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE BEST.
Don’t be one of those who come to the end of life and say, “I wish I had.”
Is there something you especially love doing but never seem to have enough time for?
Then cut out something you like less.
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DON’T TRADE PEACE FOR HAPPINESS.
Many parents have a tendency to choose the “path of least resistance” when it comes to pacifying children… or anyone else for that matter.
But in the long run, the low quality of satisfaction is a poor trade for true contentment.
For everyone concerned. Sort of like that old saying, “when salt has lost its flavor, what good is it?”
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PRIORITIZE YOUR SHOULDS.
If you find yourself doing too many things for no more reason than you “thought you should,” weed out some of those commitments.
Amazingly, those organizations and sports leagues, and committee memberships for community affairs, rarely cease operations when members drop out.
How many have you gone to where the topic of discussion was who was no longer a member and what the world should do about it?
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TENACIOUSLY COVET PERSONAL TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN. Nothing can replace the benefits that come from one-on-one time with your child… which does not include your voice being the loudest one they hear at soccer practice.
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DECLARE A “SAFE ZONE” at some time in some area of your house, where it is against the rules to bring up problems or talk about them.
Whether it’s at the dinner table or part of the bedtime routine, have some place and segment of your family’s day where you only talk about and do fun things.
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DO SOMETHING THAT YOU CONSIDER WORTHWHILE every day, whether it is large, or small.
This does not mean something that you feel you should think is worthwhile, but something that you really do.
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MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY.
In little ways, big ways, or anything in between.
Not just because it’s a great thing to do, but because happiness is like giving: it has a boomerang effect.
The more you give it away to others, the more comes back on you… usually multiplied.
Which can have a wonderful influence on your whole outlook in life.
 Everyone has some kind of a home-life, no matter where
they live.
But your home-life – like your home – is only capable of holding so much.
The secret to having a home-life that has more satisfaction and contentment than tension and confusion in it, is to do something different with the time that you spend there.
Something that you feel is pleasant and worthwhile, so that you find rest and rejuvenation there instead of a constant drain on yourself.
And the way to do that is by taking charge of your time.
Even if it’s only in small amounts, you can get wonderful results by doing things “a little at a time.”
Are you a book lover but you never seem to get enough time to yourself to read? Then decide to take fifteen minutes out of your day – somewhere – even if it’s off one end or the other of your sleep schedule.
Only fifteen minutes.
We waste far more than that just waiting in lines, or at traffic lights. You’ll be surprised how refreshing just a little of something you like can be.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Do you love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”
And he was right.
You can make changes in your home-life the same way you
take on any other big project: by doing it a little at a time.
Sort of like house payments.
That’s the secret to owning your own home-life.
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