|
|

Mom vs. Mom
I just can't figure out why working mothers and stay at home moms can't support each other. It's ridiculous really. We all go through pregnancy, labor, childbirth. We all have to get through the terrible
twos, the tantrum threes, t-ball, sibling rivalry (our own and our children's); the similarities go on and on. The only difference is one set of us stay at home and the other goes out to work and collects a paycheck.
There's a lot to be said for going to work. There is the change of pace from being a wife and Mom, the satisfaction of completed tasks, bringing home a paycheck. There are many drawbacks as well.
Childcare, both finding it and paying for it can be hell. It is a source of frustration for many Moms to fork over so much of their paycheck to a babysitter, but a really trustworthy babysitter can be worth their weight in gold. Often
working Moms feel guilty for leaving their children with a caregiver. All the household errands must be done on the weekends or in the evening when you and your child most want to be together.
Staying at home has the obvious benefit of seeing every move your child or children make. However that can be a drawback in
and of itself. After all, it can get very frustrating to see them jump off the couch for the seventh time that day and say for the seventh time "Don't!" The laundry always needs to be done, the beds always need to be made, the
floors always need to be washed, the meals always need to be cooked/cleaned up from/planned. There is no end date, no completed tasks. It's pretty much the same day after day.
Other stay at home Moms have had the same experience I have. In talking to working Moms they say, "Oh you (stay at home Moms) have the hardest job." Somehow the words sound tinny and false -
even when I really want to believe them. Maybe I'm insecure. After all, I'm spending my prime earning years cleaning up spit up and singing the ABC's. I didn't realize until I had Alex that the ABC's, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Baa,
Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune. The things you learn when the radio breaks in the car.
So does it really all come down to jealousy? The grass is always greener on the other side? You always want what you don't have? Can I use another cliché?
My friend JoAnn has a really high-pressure job and she's REALLY good at it. I'm not just saying that - I've worked for her. Anytime you can work for
a friend, and remain friends, you know that there is an incredible talent there. She and I have never gotten into a really deep conversation about Working Mom versus Stay at Home Mom. When we get a chance to talk, which isn't often since
we live on opposite coasts and her email has gone down. We talk about the books we're reading, what our boys are doing, or not doing, and how tired we are.
So there it is. I'm putting it out there. As a Stay at home Mom, I'm a little jealous of the Mom's who have careers outside the home. If we put it all out there, can we get past it and find that common
ground? After all, being a Mom is hard enough with all the 'experts' out there telling us how to do it. We don't need to be at odds with other Moms.
| © Copyright 2000/2001/2002. All rights reserved.
|
 |
|
|