Play Dating

Earlier this fall I enrolled my son in a wonderful Mother's Day Out program, and unfortunately had to withdraw him after only one class due to medical problems. I still value that he needs interaction with other children his age (just on a much smaller scale), and so I set out to find a play date for him. This has turned out to be a more difficult task than I expected. Meltdowns, sharing, naptimes and temperament, all come into play when planning for a successful play date. What I didn't know then, I do know now, and I feel compelled to share!

Planning is the most important aspect of "play dating". With the proper thought put into the gathering, many otherwise show stoppers can be circumvented, or at least reduced in intensity. First, cover the obvious bases of making certain that your child is both well rested and well fed. When you are hosting playtime, recheck the childproofing in the areas that the children will be playing. It may be that your child is used to the environment, and therefore aware of items that are off limits. A toddler that is a guest in your home may make a beeline for anything in his reach! When possible, it is a good idea to have the other parent or caregiver stay. It can help your child's new friend feel more relaxed and secure, and possibly prevent a meltdown. First play dates are difficult enough without adding separation anxiety into the mix!

In addition, provide a wide variety of toys, and toys that can be easily shared (age appropriate Legos or blocks) to promote playing together, and stave off any threat of a "mine" war. Should a disagreement happen, the best strategy is to move to a different activity. If that fails, remove your child for a few minutes so that both kids can regroup, and then bring them back together to try again. As your children become more familiar with one another, try letting them work minor disagreements on their own. This will help build confidence and develop problem solving skills.

After each play date, rehash the event. What worked, and what didn't. Did some activities cause the kids to get to wild and have difficulty in settling down? Were some activities too structured? And, most importantly, which activities did the kids seem to have the most fun doing? Answering questions like these, can help you plan your next play date, and can potentially make it more successful than the last. There are some great online resources for play ideas: my personal favorite is Disney's FamilyFun.com. I also find that standbys such as donning old t-shirts and playing with a tray covered in shaving cream (or whipped cream if you are worried about ingestion), are always great fun. But, of everything I mentioned here, the truly most important aspect of play dating is patience with your child, his friend, and yourself!